I’ve just been confronted with
something at my local supermarket, which initially really niggled me but has
since made me think about a bigger picture...
I was finishing paying for my shopping
and greeted by an old school friends’ father (who didn’t really know me at High
School, any more than a face in his daughters’ friendship circle) at the
opposite checkout. He proceeded to ask how I was, and if my surname was still
‘Davenport’ to which I replied ‘yeah?’ He then followed this seemingly odd question up with ‘just asking because
surely you are too old to not be married, or have children.’
This small comment has led to a spiral
of thoughts for me, and led me to this blog.
Firstly I was confronted with the fact
that no, I am not married, nor do I have children so started to question if
that was my error? Should I be worried that I have not ticked either of these
boxes, despite the fact that most of my friends (his daughter included) are
married and with 1, if not two children? I began to question if I would ever
get married, or ever have children. And these negative thoughts began to
circle, to the point where I felt utterly shit. I had forgotten everything I
had accomplished and achieved in my life, because of one small comment.
I’ve always been someone who set goals,
made a plan, changed the plan (constantly), set new goals – all aiming to get
to that end goal – that one we all set our own bars at so bloody high?! From my
late teens, it was go to uni, build a career, get married, and have children.
But one thing life has taught me is that this ‘checklist’ doesn’t always roll
out this way, nor is it achievable for many (congrats to those of you have
ticked all of these things above in said order). So who’s to say this is the
way/order life should be?
Coincidentally I listened
to a really interesting podcast while out walking today which
resonated with me. It was about the power of doing what makes you, you. The power of standing up
for yourself and being your number one fan. Accepting that some things in life
are out of your control, but to be content with where you are right now at any
moment and don’t dwell on the past – it is your past for a reason. And to
appreciate the smaller things, as hard as it can be when you are in a funk
(trust me I’ve been there, I’m a frequent visitor to funky-town - no lol’s
intended).
My supermarket experience was a shitty
one, I wished I hadn’t gone in on that day, at that time. But I then came home,
collected my thoughts, and sat down for a beautiful dinner with my family. And
I quietly became grateful for that moment (the smaller things). Not down and
out for the fact that I am not married, or don’t have children, (yes sure, one
day I would love both of these things) but at that moment I was grateful for
the food one the table, and the company of my family.
Perhaps you’ve had something similar
happen to you, or perhaps you do compare yourself to your friends and the stage
of life they are at (we’ve allllll been there)! But remember that is their life, not yours.
Life can throw some really shitty
bones, but the best thing about a pile of bones is that it becomes a foundation
strong enough to climb to the top, and to see beyond.
Who says there's one way, or a
right way to do life? No one. You just do you.
From a not-yet-married, child-free,
well-traveled, healthy, family-orientated, friendly, successful ME, to YOU x
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| This place ♥ |
